Jukefrüt, or The Hottest Band that Never Happened

Can you pinpoint the moment of your life you decided to be a rockstar?
If you say, "No, I never wanted to be a rockstar," you are a liar.

My moment occurred in late 1995, when I saw God on my TV:



and by God, I mean Billy Corgan in the "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" music video. Seriously... if it weren't for this watershed moment, I might still be listening to shitty countrypop.

Lying on the couch that morning, I wanted the following things: silver pants; a black Zero t-shirt; and a guitar. Over the years, I failed with the silver pants, but got the Zero shirt in various colors, and finally, a guitar. Did I ever learn to play it or take lessons? No.

But I was in a band, for like, 10 days. In the 11th grade my sister, friends Jessica and Ann, and I decided we would form a band. Luckily, we had some talent, as Ann could play the guitar and sing. The rest of us, not really so much.

Here's our story:


I filmed "practice" in 2001. Seven years later some footage sees the screen. You know, I might have more, somewhere, but all I have on my hard drive is fighting. Go figure. Did we ever play a song?

My apologies for the choppy editing. Back in the day I used Adobe Premiere, and I just tried Final Cut Pro yesterday. I've found it's not so intuitive as Premiere, and damnit, I just can't figure out how to make transitions work correctly.

Anyway, here's to your inner rock star...